Sept. 25

I started this blog yesterday and felt rushed and unfulfilled in the inaugural post. I feel better tonighty and have less distractions now.  My lovely wife Danica was down island on a business trip and stopped in for dinner with myself and my parents. It is always nice to see her and i feel in better spirits because of the love, encouragement, and support that i feel i get from her. Danica glows from somewhere inside of her,somewhere pristine, beautiful, that has not had many visitors. I would love to walk through the many acres of her sole that i see in my mind as vast fields of golden, swaying grasses touched with vibrant life.  I imagine it as a place i could go to be filled with soothing inspiration that comes only from the familiar places of happy memories, the places you felt most comfortable as a giggling free spirited child. The wonder!  What a place it must be Danica, one day you must take a walk in your gardens and pathways, run through those fields and be free! 

 Now i can just see Danica running through grassy fields giggling with sheep, dogs, and our little child in tow! Ah what a wonderful life it is! 

  Well i must say that one of the reasons that i am writing this blog, is to get out all the stuff in my head and to get some practice at writing. I have more feelings in my body and pictures in my head than i know what to do with, actually i don't know what to do with them so it is time i put words to them. I need expression and for some reason right now that is to be with words if i can. Saying that, it is more than just me wanting to write what i am thinking and feeling here. I want this to blog to grow into itself, into me.  I am guarded, moody, anxious, and frustrated in person and this is my attempt to find what it is that Mike Stewart is missing. What i am not doing. I also hope that this fails and wilts under its own radiation. I want this idea, this attempt to be what it will be without all the stuff  i staple and nail to all of my ideas that inevitably pull it to the ground in a hulking wreck before it even gets off the ground. I have drowned so many ideas, dreams, and projects in my life by telling what is going to be first and killing its life potential from the get go so it had no possibility of growing!

  So here i am. This is me and lets find out where i go!